John’s Movie Musings

I have a confession to make. In all my years of movie watching, pop-culture references, and internet memes, I’d never seen Blade Runner. Sure, I’d watched scenes here and there. And with the internet and every SF movie borrowing from it, I knew the basic premise. But I never took the time to watch it in one sitting.

Finally, I can scratch that one off my list. But here’s where it gets funny (funnier?). I watched the Final Cut version. How’s it different than the Theatrical Cut, Director’s Cut, and Give the Studio More Money Cut? I have no idea. But I do know a few things.

First, the Final Cut was Ridley Scott’s “favorite cut.” I know this because he says so in the bonus features. My guess is that bonus feature was also included in the Director’s Cut, but who am I to judge?

I also know that Sean Young came back last year and filmed some new scenes for this cut. What are they? Again, I have no clue, but there’s a section in the middle where she starts playing the piano that looks “newer” than everything else. They are also the only scenes where she’s not in the same frame as young Harrison Ford.

But here’s the best part. Edward James Olmos is in this. For those that don’t know, he’s in the new Battlestar Galactica. In Blade Runner, the replicants are called “Skin Jobs” – the same name they call the human cylons in BSG. See the connection?

Yeah, I just watched the most classic SF movie ever, and the most I got out of it was the “Skin Job” reference. But really, this movie is awesome. It’s a classic for a reason. Is this version better than the others? No clue. But if you do, lemme know!

Grade: A

One of the best Westerns ever is Tombstone. I’d call it the best ever, but Clint Eastwood had a run that can’t be ignored.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Holy Crap This is a Long Title got no love at all at the Box Office. My guess it’s because the entire movie is spelled out in the title. Then again, my theory falls apart when you consider The Return of the King or Titanic.

The legend of Jesse James is more famous than Brad Pitt, who plays him. Fortunately, the director decided to focus the story on Robert Ford played by Casey Affleck (No I did not intend to watch two Casey Affleck movies back-to-back.). This had the chance of being somewhat interesting. Afterall, you have one of the classic betrayals in history told from the point of view of the betrayer. How did Robert Ford, once loved and trusted by Jesse James, get to the point of shooting him in the back? It’s the classic hero’s fall from grace. It should have been brilliant.

Instead, it was dull. I think the problem was that the movie was almost three hours long and the story takes place after the James gang commits their last robbery. So you have a three-hour Western with no robberies. Yeah. Exhilarating.

I understand the director’s dilemma. In order to have your hero turn into a villain, it must take time. Otherwise, you end up with Anakin Skywalker who kills a guy (sorta) then agrees to slaughter a bunch of kids. All within five minutes.

But three hours of watching Robert Ford’s progression was taxing, even for watching on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Towards the end, whenever Brad Pitt was on-screen, I’d say, “There he is! Kill him!” However, I will say that when the moment finally arrives, it’s severely disturbing. The director plays out the scene so well, that applying the title of “Coward” to Robert Ford is justly deserved.

I’ll give the movie credit for its end. After the assassination, the movie fills in some of the history of what happens to everyone. I knew nothing of Robert Ford, so that part was very entertaining, but I also like documentaries. Take that for what you will.

But I gotta knock it one last time for its length. And here’s why.

There’s a narrator.

Narrators are put in movies to fill in the boring gaps. A three-hour movie with scenes that plod along like ents does not need a narrator. Period.

Grade: C+

Nowadays, when I watch a movie, I try and think of things to talk about in these reviews. Halfway through Gone Baby Gone, I was ready to call it “so intense, I can never watch it a second time.”

Ben Affleck’s directorial debut is about child kidnappings. Not being a father, I don’t have the same emotional reaction to these kinds of movies some of my friends have. They say that a man changes when he holds his child for the first time. Never is that more apparent to me than by talking to my child-rearing friends about these kinds of movies. These guys now tear up at a Lifetime movie (while I point and laugh). Seriously.

But watching the first half of Gone Baby Gone, I got a fun-size taste of those emotions surrounding the loss of a child. An hour into this, I was ready to crown Ben Affleck as the greatest director of the year. Then, an hour and a half into it, I remembered this was a Ben Affleck movie.

Now don’t get me wrong, the movie is not terrible. The first half truly is brilliant, but the second half is a bad cliché. It’s like Ben Affleck thought you were born yesterday and tried to pull a fast one. But in this day and age, these kinds of movies aren’t the only game in town and bad endings stick out like a sore thumb.

Moving on…

I will give credit to Ben’s bro, Casey. He plays the part of a Boston PI like he was born there. Oh right, he was. Anyway, he did a good job.

OK, so the ending is kind of lame (especially the morality question they throw at ya like a pie in the face), but this might be worth a rental. The first half is, anyway.

Grade: C+