John’s Movie Musings

John:  Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

Priest: What is it?

John: I write a silly movie review blog, yet I’ve never seen The Big Lebowski.

Priest: Get out!

John: Wha-?

Priest: Out!  I’m not wasting my time with you.  You’re beyond help.

There are movies a person needs to have seen in order to relate to most social situations.  Top Gun, The Princess Bride, So I Married an Axe Murderer, Office Space – I could go on and on.  These are the movies referenced multiple times a week in normal conversation and if you don’t know the joke, you’re left laughing just because everyone else is.  You become That Guy.

The giant omission from my list was The Big Lebowski.  Friends would make a joke and I’d have to admit I’d never seen it, only to be assaulted with “How are we friends?” or “Do I even know you?”  When bowling my confession would elicit that same shameful look one gives a poodle dressed as a linebacker.

Cult Classics are reviewed like pies.  Whenever someone tries to get serious and critique one, the only appropriate response is, “Hello!  It’s pie.  Shut up and enjoy it like you’re supposed to.”  So I’ll just say the I thoroughly enjoyed The Big Lebowski. I laughed, sometimes howled, and finished smiling.  Can’t ask for more than that.

Now I can hold my head high and look my friends in the eyes when they tell me, “It’s about frikkin time.”

Grade: A