Did you ever have that one teacher that was so horrible that you will  never ever forget them? Well, this will be one of those movies that you never forget or forgive yourself for wasting time and money to see. It’s just like that bad teacher you hate to remember, but for some reason they just won’t leave your memories alone!

The premise of the film is that Cameron Diaz’s character is a teacher who doesn’t care a whit about her students or her job. Her only goal in life is to marry someone wealthy. In order to do this she plots and schemes to win the man of her dreams.

This film was filled with unnecessary language that I’m assuming was supposed to make the film more appealing comically, while in reality all it did was make me shake my head and sigh. I just kept thinking of how harsh of a review I gave Green Lantern and at the time I would have given anything to be in the theater next door watching that instead of the horse manure that Bad Teacher flung at me.

The only redeeming quality about this movie was Jason Segel’s character. Segel actually delivered his lines well and was mildly funny, whereas Diaz and Timberlake were just awkward and pathetic.

Bad Teacher was a bad, bad movie and I give it a big fat D! Please if you want to see a movie and your options are between Bad Teacher and Green Lantern, then see Green Lantern! Or better yet save your money and wait for something better to come to theaters (or buy yourself something pretty).

Grade: D

John’s take…

Who spends money on a Cameron Diaz movie?

Who knows what you are going to get when you watch a Darren Aronofsky film? In, Requiem for a Dream, there were drugs, infected arms and editing techniques that film professors inevitably use in their intro to film classes. So, when the Black Swan previews started showing up on the internet I knew I had to see the movie.I mean seriously, who can say no to a preview that shows a ballerina picking black feathers out of her shoulder?

Black Swan was nominated in five categories in this years Academy Awards, but only won ‘Best Leading Actress’ for Natalie Portman’s role as Nina. Of course this film was up against: The King’s Speech, The Social Network, True Grit, The Fighter and 127 Hours.

The movie follows a young ballerina, Nina (Natalie Portman), who has been training her entire life to become the Prima ballerina for the New York City Company. The ballet that is chosen is Swan Lake, but with a twist, she has to play both the white swan and the black swan. As the film progresses we see how easily Portman’s character fulfills the role of the perfect, white swan, but has the inability to portray the evil, black swan.

This film is interesting because of the dual personality that we, the audience, sees as we watch Nina slowly go crazy. With vivid imagery Aronofsky shows us how Nina’s health mentally and physically decline as she tries to please those around her, but at the same time trying to please herself, literally and figuratively.

I watched this in a theater with my friend and maybe ten other people and I have to say that like Requiem for a Dream, Aronofsky used editing, cinematography and sound in a way that made me slightly uncomfortable, but always left me wanting to see more. I want to say it was like a car accident that looks absolutely gruesome and you want to look away, but can’t. In this case instead of being a horrible event, it was a work of art and beautiful. There are times when I disagree with content in films, but even the girl on girl and Nina’s masturbatory scenes in this film were necessary to furthering the character development, because that is what drives this film.

In the end I have to give this film an A+, but I will say that I don’t think this film is for everyone and if you don’t appreciate gruesome and somewhat explicit images, then stay away from this film.

Grade: A+

John’s Take…

Kristi and I get along so well because we are both damaged people who enjoy movies normal folks should avoid.  I don’t know why I enjoy movies like Black Swan, Oldboy, or The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  Maybe it’s because of the intense, raw emotion most movies don’t approach.  Maybe it’s because of my pain.  Or maybe it’s because I’m just drawn to well-told, unique stories that don’t fit the Hollywood mold.

Black Swan is a movie you’ll only need to see once.  Then you’ll see it again when you make friends watch it just to enjoy those pained, “WTF are you making me watch?!” expressions on their face.  For this one, a good drinking game could be invented for every time a friend yells out, “Stop cutting your nails!!”  Good times ahead.

Now what makes this movie so good is how it portrays our hero’s decent into darkness.  I gotta believe that’s a monumental task since there’s only two hours to make it believable.  Few movies get it right.  Hell, George Lucas had three whole films and failed miserably.  Aronofsky and Natalie Portman pull it off brilliantly and that Oscar was well deserved.

Like Kristi said, Black Swan is not for normal, well-balanced people.  I know you’re going to see it anyway, but for all that is good and holy, don’t see it with your parents.

Grade: A+

“In brightest day, in darkest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power…Green Lantern’s LIGHT!”

Green Lantern is a story about a pilot, Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), who is chosen to be the newest Lantern for the intergalactic group of peace keepers, the Green Lantern Corps. In order to save Earth from Parallax, a fear consuming creature, Jordan must harness the power of the Ring, which can only be done through strength of character and willpower.

Unfortunately for Hal Jordan and for those of us who unwittingly paid $7.50 a ticket, Greg Berlanti, Michael Green (both known for their writing on Everwood, yuck) and other writers ruined this summers unexpected streak of pretty decent comic book made into film adaptations. The ‘power of Green Lantern’s light’ has regrettably been used as a force of evil under the direction of Martin Campbell (The Mask of Zorro, Casino Royale, Edge of Darkness) and these so called writers and I fear for their future projects.

Starting this summer of right was: Thor (from the Avengers), having grossed around $2.4m and given a 77% rating on Rottentomatoes.com, it had some amazing CGI and a plot that all viewers could enjoy. X-Men: First Class followed weeks later and despite the negative hype it blew viewers away and renewed the faith of many fanboys and girls. Grossing around $24.1m puttomg this comic recreation on the top of the charts, but, Alas! the pleasure couldn’t last.

Green Lantern was a shoddy piece of work and as a student and lover of film I am disgusted by the lack of direction and cohesion of this film. It was like the actors decided that delivering their lines was unimportant and the editors obviously thought for some reason they could do a half-ass job of putting it all together. In the end it resulted in a catastrophe for all involved and that doesn’t even include some of the worst CGI I have ever seen.

The only redeeming quality in this film is the fact that we get to see Ryan Reynolds walk around in his knickers a portion of the time. Of course, if I really wanted to see that I could watch more than a few of his previous films in order to enjoy that lovely view.

I give this film a big C- and my heartfelt disapproval.

Grade: C-