John’s Movie Musings

In Pulp Fiction, Jules proudly exclaims, “That is a tasty burger” after a healthy bite of a Big Kahuna.  I bring up that scene, not just to highlight tasty burgers, but to remind you of the other fellow.  The one who can’t say anything but “what?!”  Food, Inc. reminded me of that scene due to its focus on meat, but also because as I was watching, I could say nothing else but “What?!”

There’s a saying in highly complicated manufacturing processes that it’s all “a bit like making sausage.”  You’ll enjoy the end product, but you really don’t want to know how it’s made.  Food, Inc. shows how all of our food is a bit like making sausage.  Those packages of meat at the grocery store go through a process so bizarre, you’d be tempted to go vegetarian if you knew how they got there.  Sadly, vegetables aren’t much better.

I first saw posters of this movie in Chipotle.  That restaurant pushes its “Organic” ingredients so I kind of knew what to expect going into this.  Still, actually watching how we raise and slaughter our chickens, pigs, and cows turned my stomach.  There’s a Proverb that says, “A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.”  In your eyes, slaughtering animals for food may be cruel in any capacity, but I don’t go too far down that road.  There’s a lengthy scene in the movie where we watch an organic chicken farmer slaughter chickens.  It’s graphic, sure, but when compared to how the large chicken farms are harvested, there is a very clear line between humane and cruel.

I’m not sure what effect this movie will have on people.  I’ve heard some say we’re just at the mercy of evil corporations, but I was glad to see Food, Inc. show that’s not the case.  Corporations follow the money.  If we want healthier food, it’s our responsibility to shift our spending that direction.

Grade: A

Back when I was working in Corporate America, I’d be forced to take seminars teaching how to protect against corporate espionage.  They were always filled with badly acted short-films where some hottie approches an engineer at a bar and seduces the company secrets from his pants.  It all sounds Bond-ish and awesome, but I’ve never known anyone getting in situations even close to that.  But hey, it makes great movies, right?  Right?

Duplicity looks at the exciting-because-we-tell-you-it-is world of lotions and creams.  You’ve got two CEOs of megacorps who hate each other and will do anything to get the upper hand.  This includes hiring Julia Roberts and Clive Owen as spies.  Perfect.  When those two are working with a bunch of lotion engineers, no one would ever pay any attention to them.  Completely invisible, I tell ya.

So the movie tries to throw a bunch of different twists to get you all confused.  But the reality is that you’re watching two people try and steal a secret formula from one multi-billion dollar CEO to another.  That’s about exciting as making a movie about stealing the Colonel’s secret blend of herbs, spices, and fortnightly craving additives.  Actually, someone needs to make that.

Duplicity has a few high points, but it is pretty much average in every way.

Grade: C

Robert Zemekis is a madman.  Yes, the same director who gave us Back to the Future has now established residence in the Uncanny Valley (wiki) with the insane task of bridging it.  For three films in a row (Polar Express, Beowulf, A Christmas Carol), the loonies at ImageMovers have used a process that morphs real actors into 3D avatars with the intention of making them look real.  Madness, I tell you.

For A Christmas Carol, Jim Carrey gets lured into the wackiness.  And you know what?  Zemekis is getting good.  Each successive movie displays great strides in the animation quality as well as the 3D effects.  Carrey plays/voices Scrooge and all the ghosts (plus a few others) and every character looks more human than anyone in Beowulf or Polar Express.  That’s not saying much, since Zombie Tom Hanks is looking frighteningly dated these days

The only reason to see this in the theaters is for the 3D.  Directors are now out of the gimmick phase of 3D (well, most of them), and starting to use the extra dimension in artistic ways.  The Toy Story 3 trailer makes the characters go dark when they pop out of the screen.  This looks like they have left the bright light of the screen world, and into the darkened theater.  It’s awesome if you haven’t seen it.

For A Christmas Carol, Zemekis also tackles light and shadow effects to great effect.  Watching a light fade “down” a hallway creates an effect I have never seen in film.  On the other end of the spectrum, the shadow of the Ghost of Christmas Future is used to create fascinting scenes of dread.  Pay attention if you go see this.

One word of caution.  This is the scariest version of the story, by far.  It’s animated, so you may be tempted to bring your little ones.  One couple did the same in my showing and had to leave early.  If you’ve got kiddos who scare easy, avoid this.

Overall, A Christmas Carol is a hard movie to review.  You know the story, so that’s not much of a draw.  There were enough technical feats to satisfy my inner geek, but he’s probably crazier than Zemekis.

Grade: B-

Instead of some pusillanimous Prime Directive governing our actions, what if future humanity will explore the final frontier in the same manner we explored the New World?  Alien civilizations would have no defense against the entitlement bestowed upon us by our flag.  Battle for Terra takes a look at this possible (plausible?) human future into the stars.

Terra, as you might have guessed, is the name of a planet inhabited by a race of peaceful, anthropomorphic tadpoles.  They’re intelligent and live in communities very similar to the Ewoks.  Soon enough, the humans show up and bring sin to Eden.  During the titular battle, some of Terra’s past is uncovered and black & white fades to gray.

After watching Battle for Terra, I had to go online and seek out some reviews.  I found pretty much what I expected: some people enjoyed it, while others hated, no, despised it.  You see, the movie has a message or two to hammer home.  There is no subtlety.  Imagine if Al Gore started writing science fiction movies (And yes, I hear those of you who say he already has.  Hey-oh!).

Having an environmental message is not a valid argument for a crappy movie in my opinion.  Wall-E had a very similar message (with an equally unpopular view of humanity) and I heard the same complaints, but it is still one of the greatest animated movies of all time.  Battle for Terra is nowhere as good, of course, but just because it takes a look at the darker (historically accurate) side of humanity, don’t completely discount it.  Uncomfortable messages may be exactly what we need to hear.

I’m not sure if you’ll like Battle for Terra.  I enjoy most Sci-Fi movies, even the bad ones.  Sometimes it felt like sitting through a sermon, but there were some unexpected scenes that will stick with me for awhile.  Moments like that are the reason I watch so many movies.  And this blog exists to share them.  Give this one a rental.

Grade: B+

I enjoy reading those random top 10 movie lists you find all over the internet.  They are a great place to mine hidden movie gems.  I still need to write the review, but I discovered The Wicker Man on the Top 10 Scenes of Brutal Violence Guaranteed to Make You Laugh.  There’s a list that commands a viewing of every movie on it, am I right?

I discovered Primal Fear on the Top 10 Best Endings or something like that.  The list had the usual suspects like The Sixth Sense and, um, The Usual Suspects, but there in the #2 spot sat Primal Fear, a movie I’d never heard of.  Into the Netflix queue it went.

Primal Fear came out in ’96 and happens to be Edward Norton’s first movie.  Laura Linney also has a large part and she had only done Congo before this.  Today, that’s a pretty impressive cast, but back then it was just Richard Gere with a pair of nobodies.  Nonetheless, the acting is outstanding.  That’s a good thing since there’s no way this movie would have worked without it.

Obviously with a movie prized for its ending, I’m not going to say a word about it.  I was expecting a “great ending” so I called most of it before it happened, but that didn’t diminish my enjoyment. If you’re in the mood for a good suspense thriller, or just want to see a young Ed Norton, or Richard Gere looking like he always has for the past 30 years, then give this a go.

Grade: B+

Last year, Jeffrey Katzenberg declared that all Dreamworks animated movies would be made in 3D.  Monsters vs. Aliens was their first attempt, but I missed it.  I saw the trailer a bazillion times but never actually made it to the theater.  It’s finally out on DVD, though only bi-dimensional.

MvA was the first 3D movie I’ve seen in 2D.  I wasn’t expecting the experience to be any different than normal, but I noticed some directing decisions that don’t work without the added depth.  There were the obvious “gimmick” shots where things would be poking out of the screen.  Obviously, 2D directors never do that, and 3D directors should stop.  But there were also camera angles that just looked “off.”  It’s like the camera was focused on the depth of the scene rather than the characters in it.  I’ll have to see if I notice it in future films.

Now on to the story.  Short answer: it’s horrid.  With Kung Fu Panda, Dreamworks drifted from the pop-culture infused jokes that filled the Shreks to create a hilarious, original tale.  Monsters vs. Aliens has a few jokes, but all of them can be seen in the trailer.  What’s worse (and this really boggles my mind), the comedic timing of the trailer is better than the movie.  That means that in the months between the trailer and the movie, the editor made things worse.  How does that happen?  Better yet, why?

In another low point, Stephen Colbert plays the President.  You’d think that’s a recipe for hilarity, but the man is completely wasted on sleep inducing dialog.   Skip this and go rent Kung Fu Panda instead.

Grade: D

Where the Wild Things Are first appeared on my “Must See” list from a single shot in the trailer.  A wild thing and Max were sitting with their backs to the camera at sunset and I thought, “Yes!  This is exactly how this movie should look.”  I couldn’t remember much of the story – just that it was a favorite of mine (and every other kid) growing up – but that single shot perfectly encapsulated every loving memory I had retained.  I just wondered how they were going to make a full-length feature out of a 20-page kids book.

That look comes courtesy of Spike Jonze.  You may remember him from directing Being John Malkovich.  That knowledge really serves no purpose here.  I just ran through his IMDB page and found one movie I recognized.  Thought I’d share.  Anyway, Jonze teamed up with the Henson company to make the wild things.  Going with a muppet + CG combo worked perfectly.  It added a presence and weight that doesn’t quite come with full CG yet.  That’s hard to explain in words, but trust me when I say everything looks right.

Most of my time spent with morality plays comes from Asian cinema.  Scratch away the ninjas and kung fu and you’re mostly left with a child’s parable.  Simple stories with deep meanings.  Where the Wild Things Are follows the same pattern.  It’s a morality tale wrapped up in a child’s imagination.  It’s simple, easy to follow, yet so very real and applicable. As a man who sometimes wants to wants to fix other people instead of just loving them, this movie hit home.

Where the Wild Things Are is a great ride with fantastic cinematography.  Go see it.  Your heart will come out softer.

Grade: A