OK, I just got back from seeing Day After Tomorrow (DAT). Let me begin by saying that I love disaster movies. Deep Impact rocked. Volcano, yeah — well, actually that one really sucked. But usually, if it’s a movie about something being destroyed causing mass chaos, my butt’s in the seat. Now after knowing that, I gotta say that DAT is BY FAR the best disaster movie I’ve seen.
Now, DAT is FAR from perfect. It IS a disaster movie afterall, and it definitely sticks to all laws that disaster movies must follow. Such as: The estranged hero and his wife/children. The “This is your last chance” speach. And of course, lame or wrong science to explain the scientific disaster so that Bubba in Arkansas thinks he learned something.
Oh, and don’t get me started on the wolves. What kind of crap was that? They didn’t even LOOK good. It’s like they spent all this money on flooding New York and having Twisters in LA (really cool!) that they were like, “Bah, save some cash on the wolves. Everyone thinks they suck anyway.”
And I gotta say, Peter Parker’s brother….yeah, I half expected him to start slinging webs when he was out rescuing his girl from the 100 ft tidal wave. Classic.
So anyhoo, if you watch disaster movies the same way you watch MST3k reruns, then DAT is for you!
Here are a few things I learned while watching this…
1. No more actor reunions in new movies. Watching Troy was like being a wallflower at a Braveheart/Lord of the Rings reunion. I mean seriously, Boromir should have warned Brad Pitt about Legolas’s skill with a bow.
2. Orlando Bloom should never, EVER fire a bow in any movie from now on. He was a doing great job of shedding his elf image by playing a coward only to ruin it in the last 5 minutes with that damn bow.
3. Guys that all the girls are crazy about should play cowards more often. After Troy, I guarantee the landfills got a deluge of Legolas posters. Plus, this destroys that false image women have of men and begin to see normal guys in a more realistic light. Jhaan definitely moved up the list, if you know what I mean.
4. Brad Pitt should never be naked again. That whole destorying false masculine images I talked about in the previous point — yeah, completely destroyed by Brad Pitt’s ass.
5. More members of the Swedish Bikini Team need to be in movies. I’m quite comfortable with my false image of women. (Calm down ladies, just a bit of sexist humor We love you all)
6. While watching the truly amazing sword fight between Brad Pitt and Eric Bana only proved that George Lucas has lost everything he once had and has become just a greedy hack.