Troy – 6 Things Learned

Here are a few things I learned while watching this…

1. No more actor reunions in new movies. Watching Troy was like being a wallflower at a Braveheart/Lord of the Rings reunion. I mean seriously, Boromir should have warned Brad Pitt about Legolas’s skill with a bow.

2. Orlando Bloom should never, EVER fire a bow in any movie from now on. He was a doing great job of shedding his elf image by playing a coward only to ruin it in the last 5 minutes with that damn bow.

3. Guys that all the girls are crazy about should play cowards more often. After Troy, I guarantee the landfills got a deluge of Legolas posters. Plus, this destroys that false image women have of men and begin to see normal guys in a more realistic light. Jhaan definitely moved up the list, if you know what I mean.

4. Brad Pitt should never be naked again. That whole destorying false masculine images I talked about in the previous point — yeah, completely destroyed by Brad Pitt’s ass.

5. More members of the Swedish Bikini Team need to be in movies. I’m quite comfortable with my false image of women. (Calm down ladies, just a bit of sexist humor We love you all)

6. While watching the truly amazing sword fight between Brad Pitt and Eric Bana only proved that George Lucas has lost everything he once had and has become just a greedy hack.

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