Summer Movie Extravaganza – 2006

May 19:
The DaVinci Code – Dan Brown’s factual work of fiction. And by factual, I mean completely made up.
Over the Hedge – Obligatory Animated summer movie for the kiddies, complete with talking animals.

May 26:
X-Men 3 – Brett Ratner takes over this franchise. Who’s that? The same genius behind the “Rush Hour” movies. Yeah, I’m scared too.

June 2:
The Break-up – It’s that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston movie no one cares about.

June 9:
The Omen – Remake of the old horror flick.
Cars – Pixar’s latest animated movie. This time with talking cars instead of toys or animals.

June 16:
Nacho Libre – Jack Black as a wrestling monk. Both disturbing and funny — just like Jack Black
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift – I hear this one could win the Oscar. Well, maybe not.
Lake House – Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. That’s all I know. I smell chick flick.

June 23:
Click – Adam Sandler takes control of man’s perfect remote.
Garfield 2 – Ummmmmmmm. Spend your money on lasagna instead.
Waist Deep – No clue.

June 30:
Superman Returns – The guy that left X-Men, left for Superman. In other words, this should be outstanding.

July 7:
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 – Cap’n Jack and crew battle Davey Jones. I’m there!
Little Man – Wayans’ brothers comedy. Yeah, it won’t be funny at all.

July 14:
Pathfinder – No clue
Pulse – No clue on this one either
You, Me and Dupree – Yep, no clue. I think this means this weekend is reserved for second viewings of Superman and Pirates.

July 21:
Lady in the Water – M. Night Shyamalan’s latest. About a lady…in the water. No word on if Excalibur makes a cameo.
Monster House – Animated movie. Looks pretty funny
My Super Ex-Girlfriend – Uma Thurman with super powers…and bitter.

July 28:
Miami Vice – Colin Farrel as Crockett, and Jamie Foxx as Tubbs. Or is that the other way around?
The Barnyard – Yay, another animated movie with talking animals.

August 4:
Taladega Nights – Will Ferrell “comedy.” I use that word loosely as I’ve yet to see Will Ferrell carry a movie on his own.
The Ant Bully – Animated. Talking animals. Sense a theme here?

August 11:
Accepted – Declined
World Trade Center – Another 9/11 movie. This is Oliver Stone’s version. Lord help us.
Zoom – Tim Allen superhero movie. You saw it already back when it was called “The Incredibles”

Aug 18:
Snakes on a Plane – You see it’s a movie about snakes….that are on a plane. But it’s got Samuel L Jackson in it.

Aug 25:
Dead or Alive – This is a movie based on a fighting videogame. The game has absolutely no plot. Guess how good this movie will be.
How to Eat Fried Worms – I read this book when I was a kid. Doesn’t mean I wanna see the movie, though.
Idlewild – No idea.
Material Girls – Hillary Duff movie. Visit the dentist instead. It would be less painful.

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