Jackie Chan once asked, “War, huh, what is it good for?” Years later, his cousin, Jet Li answered, “War gets me in a movie with Jason Statham!”
When I saw the poster for WAR (whenever that was) I remember thinking, “Hey, those are two action stars I like in the same movie.” Then, after I saw the trailer I remember thinking, “Holy crap that’s gonna suck. Maybe I’ll rent it.”
So obviously I had low, low expectations for this one.
First the good. It’s not crap.
Now the bad.
- Jet Li. I always thought I liked Jet Li. But as I thought about it, his American movies are horrible. Want proof? Romeo Must Die. End of discussion. And I think his English is getting worse with every movie. I’d suggest he do more American movies to help that, but then I thank him for his reluctance.
- Devon Aoki. She’s that girl from DOA. Never heard of it? Scroll down. In DOA, she played “Asian girl who can’t act.” She reprises that role here.
- I know more about Ms. Aoki’s filmography than I ever wanted. That sucks.
- Stupid twists. The first few twists the movie throws at you are kinda good. But by the end, they are laughably bad.
Let’s not drag this out. While it’s not completely horrible, WAR is just a drinking game based on body count.