Shoot ‘Em Up – Review

Someone once said that a good bowel movement is better than sex. I can only deduce the director of Shoot ‘Em Up had the time of his life as it’s been months since I’ve seen a larger turd on screen.

The “movie” (if I can call it that) starts off with Clive Owen sitting on a park bench when a very pregnant woman runs past while being pursued by a guy with a gun. Clive Owen rescues the mother during a shootout while she’s giving birth. The rest of the movie is just a collection of gunfights with Clive holding a gun in one hand and the baby in the other.

As you may have figured out, this movie is intended to be over the top. I get that. I also enjoy over the top movies when done well, like Hot Fuzz. Those movies work because they are usually mocking something, while not taking themselves too seriously. There’s an art to it.

Shoot ‘Em Up tries to mock action movies (I assume) with its ridiculous fight locations and super high body count. But at the end, it throws a very non-subtle anti-gun message at you. So instead of being fun, it starts thinking it’s a movie with a point. It’s like when Perot and Nader ran for president. Everyone laughed and had a good time at the idea until they discovered, “Wait, you’re serious?”

Even without the exposition on the second amendment, none of the characters are all that likable and by the end, the movie gets pretty dull. The backstory on the baby is fairly interesting but when that gets wrapped up, the last four (yes, four) gunfights just get in the way of the movie being over.

Grade: D (only because I liked the baby story)

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