Summer Movie Extravaganza – 2007

May

4th

  • Lucky You
    • Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore chick flick — There will be three people who watch it this weekend
  • Spider-Man 3
    • Oh hell yes!!!


11th

  • The Flock
    • No clue
  • 28 Weeks Later
    • This is the sequel to a pretty sweet zombie movie. If you haven’t seen the first one, do.
  • Delta Farce
    • That “Git ‘r Done” dude invades Mexico. My Spidey Sense is telling me this’ll suck.
  • Georgie Rule
    • Jane Fonda and Lindsey Lohan. The one movie that’ll suck more than Delta Farce.
  • The Salon
    • Might be a Barbershop rip-off.

18th

  • Captivity
    • Never heard of this one. But it’s got that hot chick from 24 in it.
  • Shrek the Third
    • Another third movie in an outstanding series.

25th

  • Bug
    • Never heard of it, but it’s an Ashley Judd movie. Which means it’ll probably be worth a Netflix.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
    • Our third threequel, for those counting. I hope it’s better than the last one.

June

1st

  • Gracie
    • No idea
  • Knocked Up
    • This is that movie about the couple who have a kid, meet, then fall in love. Might be sweet. Might make you wanna gag.
  • Mr. Brooks
    • Never heard of it, but it’s got Costner. Hmmmm, that means it’ll be a three-hour bore-fest. I think I’ll skip this one.

8th

  • Surf’s Up
    • Yeah, I have no clue either.
  • Hostel 2
    • I never saw the first one, but heard it was a decent slasher flick. This one should be slashier
  • Ocean’s 13
    • 11 was great, 12 was ok. Hopefully we’ll get lucky with 13. (Fourth threequel)

15th

  • Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer.
    • Hey, it might not suck. I mean, the Silver Surfer is cool, right? Yeah….it’ll suck.
  • Fido
    • I don’t think this one’s about dogs.
  • Nancy Drew
    • You’ve got to be kidding me…

22nd

  • DOA: Dead or Alive
    • Yeah, that DOA. A videogame, for those of who who have never heard of it. And yes, this will suck like a roundhouse to the balls.
  • A Mighty Heart
    • Never heard of it. But sounds like a movie based off an Oprah book. Excited yet?
  • September Dawn
    • At first I thought this was a Neil Diamond movie, but then I remembered his song was called September Morn. So this’ll probably suck.
  • Evan Almighty
    • Whew, the weekend is saved.

29th

  • Die Hard 4.0
    • Live Free or Die Hard. I just saw Rocky Balboa and it was cool. Maybe Bruce Willis can still be cool at 60.
  • Ratatouille
    • It’s Pixelworks doing a movie about a french rat. A movie set in France….I wonder if Jean Reno is in it?
  • Death at a Funeral
    • I wonder if they’re trying to be clever here…

July

4th

  • Transformers
    • Yep. Transformers. What’s cool — they got most of the voices from the animated series. What’s bad — This is a Michael Bay film
  • License to Wed
    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA — gag

13th

  • 1408
    • This is about a hotel room, not a historical epic 84 years before Columbus. Crap.
  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
    • I’m excited about the movie. I’m not too excited about the “Why’d they cut that out” discussions. 🙂
  • The Strangers
    • OK, what do you think about any movie a studio dumps on the same weekend as Harry Potter? You called it…. crapfest.

20th

  • Hairspray
    • I think this is based on a musical? That just makes me giddy. /rollseyes
  • I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
    • Adam Sandler goes gay on us. I guess this fits for this weekend with Hairspray also on tap.

27th

  • I Know Who Killed Me
    • I liked the title, then I saw that this is a Lindsey Lohan movie and got sad because we all know she don’t know shit.
  • No Reservations
    • Oh I got plenty about this one.
  • The Simpsons Movie
    • Can I go without making a “Doh!” joke?
  • Skinwalkers
    • A story about two warewolf clans warring over a 12 yr old boy. Doh!


August

3rd

  • Charlie Bartlett
    • Robert Downy Jr. movie. No clue.
  • The Bourne Ultimatum
    • Our fifth threequel of the summer. I saw the trailer today and it’s gonna rock!
  • Hot Rod
    • The stuntman movie that sounds like gay porn. I think I’ll pass.
  • Resurrecting the Champ
    • This could have been the title to Rocky VI.
  • Underdog
    • Yeah, it’s the Saturday morning cartoon dog…in a movie. Who knew?

10th

  • Bratz: The Movie
    • A movie about how little girls can dress like ho’s. Just what we needed!
  • Rocket Science
    • No clue.
  • Rush Hour 3
    • Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth? This’ll be hilarious. (Sixth threequel).
  • Stardust
    • The movie sites are calling this “The next Princess Bride.” While bordering on blasphemy, I have my doubts.

And there ya have it. six threequels, plus many other sequels. Could be….interesting. But, there are a few good ones.

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